It’s fair to say we elf folk were in quite a big hole
That fateful winter day when the North Pole lost its pole
It was hardly awesome to look at, if truth be known
Standing tall and harmless on its snowy dome
It was twirled red and white, with a golden knob on top
Like something you might see outside a barber’s shop
But how a thing looks does not tell the full story
Santa Claus knew delving deep could find some hidden glory
The pole, Santa was certain, had such vital worth
The first, the most basic, it kept us all down to earth
Its magnetic force stopped elves, man and beast
Being flung from our homes south, west and east
Just as crucial still, on the festive side of things
It lifted spirits all round, it gave Christmas its wings
The magic pulsating inside the candy-striped pole
Shone silver light in the dark, made our empty lives whole
Before the pole was discovered one December night
It was true that we small folk were somewhat prone to fight
We’d slug it out to pass the time, staving off the cold
The black eyes we wore back then were beauties to behold
That all began to change when the pole’s magic took its grip
And dear old Santa Claus was installed to run the ship
We naughty little slackers, lacking in ambition
Were handed second chances, some grand Christmas mission
To make toys, not clenched fists, was our new and joyful way
For each child throughout the world to find on Christmas Day
In turn, the pleasure this gave fed our yuletide delight
The last thing on our minds was to pack a punch and fight
The reindeer were also known to clash and lock horns
Cupid may have looked cute, but was as prickly as thorns
Comet was tetchy and moody, while Blitzen could scowl
Poor Prancer was hoof sore, while dear Dasher would growl
We can now look back and see all this was because
Of their freezing isolation and lack of purpose
The new wonder and wow replenished their souls
And all this the result of a marvellous north pole
There was one elf unhappy with this turn of events
A grump and a griper we all knew as Sour Sven
He was bog-eyed and flame-haired and unusually tall
But for his pointy ears he’d have been no elf at all
Sven used his height and his stare to forceful effect
Indeed during the fight-phase he was our leader-elect
Santa’s polar discovery rightly altered all that
Sven was quickly sidelined, no longer top cat
Toys were made aplenty, for years we played our part
Santa and his elves at the beat of children’s hearts
But not too very long ago, the mood here did swing
To the south, west and east we felt compelled to fling
Santa saw Donder take a chunk out of Vixen
Dancer hoofed a tap dance all over Blitzen
We elves questioned our roles on the factory line
How tiresome the process, how pedestrian the time
That holly jolly music, it bothered our elf ears
And that’s truly the first time we’d thought that in years
Santa looked across his workshop, seeing tensions brew
He suspected foul play and instinctively he knew
Within moments the bearded one was hard to console
When he looked to the snowy dome and gone was the pole
Santa called out to Mrs. Claus, knitting in her den
Red alert my dearest one, we need to capture Sven
The bitter elf had disappeared off into the night
The snow was swirling fiercely, the wind was taking bite
The magic pole Sven dragged on a sled so very slick
His plan to make the ocean and ship the thing off quick
When he reached the water’s edge, waiting was Walter Whale
He was Sven’s huge crime accomplice, ready to set sail
Back at base our leader was trying to rein us in
Though he found it hard at first amid our frenzied din
We were all apanic having heard the thieving news
Of all the objects here, this was the last that we could lose
From deep inside that wobbly girth Santa found a sound
So deep and loud and booming we soon were duty bound
To unite and make all haste to catch that rascal Sven
Regain the pole forthwith or never know good times again
The reindeer gang soon took flight hovering side-by-side
Dangling leather sleigh-bell straps on which we all could ride
Santa took up the reins from inside his glistening sleigh
He cracked the whip, we shot off quick, swinging all the way
Dasher swiftly set the pace for all the rest to match
Soon we reached the ocean’s edge our criminals to catch
Sour Sven looked up to see a hundred elves all hanging
From brave deer and super sled, braced to make a landing
Our grips released we fell, tumbling down to the snow
All cushioned to safety by the soft white blanket below
Sven threw the north pole into Walter’s mouth so wide
And urged the grinning whale to flee on the frozen tide
But Santa and his hero deer swooped down onto his back
Covering Walter’s blowhole and forcing him to hack
He cu-cu-coughed and spluttered and with some force did spew
The pole, a car door and a hundred and one fish too
Through the frosty night air tumbled the stripy device
Flying high then falling fast, point first into the ice
We made super-strength tinsel into two long lassos
One for the pole, one for Sven – there was no time to lose
Soon the rescue was complete and the sour elf was snared
Our mission done, we all agreed Walter should be spared
And not because he wasn’t a bad whale doing wrong
It’s just that even super tinsel couldn’t hold him long
The whale was shamed and humbled and sent so far away
Not to head inland again for fear of Santa’s sleigh
Sven was bundled off in silence, bauble in his mouth
To a harsh place where bad elves go further south than south
The rest of us were back on song, calm restored anew
Santa’s clever leadership had pulled us from the poo
How great to see the prized object restored
Returning magic to this land, with the North Pole at its core
Copyright: Phil Jones 2014