edelf

It’s fair to say we elf folk were in quite a big hole

That fateful winter day when the North Pole lost its pole

It was hardly awesome to look at, if truth be known

Standing tall and harmless on its snowy dome

It was twirled red and white, with a golden knob on top

Like something you might see outside a barber’s shop

But how a thing looks is not all that counts, far from it

Santa Claus knew better, the big man was on it

 

The pole, Santa was certain, had such vital worth

The first, the most basic, it kept us all down to earth

Its magnetic force stopped elves, man and beast

Being flung from our homes south, west and east

Just as crucial still, on the festive side of things

It lifted spirits all round, it gave Christmas its wings

The magic pulsating inside the candy-striped pole

Shone silver light in the dark, made our empty lives whole

 

Before the pole was discovered one December night

It was true that we small folk were somewhat prone to fight

We’d slug it out to pass the time, staving off the cold

The black eyes we wore back then were beauties to behold

That all began to change when the pole’s magic took its grip

And dear old Santa Claus was installed to run the ship

We naughty little slackers, lacking in ambition

Were handed second chances, some grand Christmas mission

 

To make toys, not clenched fists, was our new and joyful way

For each child throughout the world to find on Christmas Day

In turn, the pleasure this gave fed our yuletide delight

The last thing on our minds was to pack a punch and fight

The reindeer were also known to clash and lock horns

Cupid may have looked cute, but was as prickly as thorns

Comet was tetchy and moody, while Blitzen could scowl

Poor Prancer was hoof sore, while dear Dasher would growl

We can now look back and see all this was because

Of their freezing isolation and lack of purpose

The new wonder and wow replenished their souls

And all this the result of a marvellous north pole

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There was one elf unhappy with this turn of events

A grump and a griper we all knew as Sour Sven

He was bog-eyed and flame-haired and unusually tall

But for his pointy ears he’d have been no elf at all

Sven used his height and his stare to forceful effect

Indeed during the fight-phase he was our leader-elect

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Santa’s polar discovery rightly altered all that

Sven was quickly sidelined, no longer top cat

Toys were made aplenty, for years we played our part

Santa and his elves at the beat of children’s hearts

But not too very long ago, the mood here did swing

To the south, west and east we felt compelled to fling

Santa saw Donder take a chunk out of Vixen

Dancer hoofed a tap dance all over Blitzen

We elves questioned our roles on the factory line

How tiresome the process, how pedestrian the time

That holly jolly music, it bothered our elf ears

And that’s truly the first time we’d thought that in years

Santa looked across his workshop, seeing tensions brew

He suspected foul play and instinctively he knew

Within moments the bearded one was hard to console

When he looked to the snowy dome and gone was the pole

Santa called out to Mrs. Claus, knitting in her den

Red alert my dearest one, we need to capture Sven

The bitter elf had disappeared off into the night

The snow was swirling fiercely, the wind was taking bite

The magic pole Sven dragged on a sled so very slick

His plan to make the ocean and ship the thing off quick

When he reached the water’s edge, waiting was Walter Whale

He was Sven’s huge crime accomplice, ready to set sail

Back at base our leader was trying to rein us in

Though he found it hard at first amid our frenzied din

We were all apanic having heard the thieving news

Of all the objects here, this was the last that we could lose

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From deep inside that wobbly girth Santa found a sound

So deep and loud and looming we soon were duty bound

To unite and make all haste to catch that rascal Sven

Regain the pole forthwith or never know good times again

The reindeer gang soon took flight hovering side-by-side

Dangling leather sleigh-bell straps on which we all could ride

Santa took up the reins from inside his glistening sleigh

He cracked the whip, we shot off quick, swinging all the way

Dasher swiftly set the pace for all the rest to match

Soon we reached the ocean’s edge our criminals to catch

Sour Sven looked up to see a hundred elves all hanging

From brave deer and super sled, braced to make a landing

Our grips released we fell, tumbling down to the snow

All cushioned to safety by the soft white blanket below

Sven threw the north pole into Walter’s mouth so wide

And urged the grinning whale to flee on the frozen tide

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But Santa and his hero deer swooped down onto his back

Covering Walter’s blowhole and forcing him to hack

He cu-cu-coughed and spluttered and with some force did spew

The pole, a car door and a hundred and one fish too

Through the frosty night air tumbled the stripy device

Flying high then falling fast, point first into the ice

We made super-strength tinsel into two long lassos

One for the pole, one for Sven – there was no time to lose

Soon the rescue was complete and the sour elf was snared

Our mission done, we all agreed Walter should be spared

And not because he wasn’t a bad whale doing wrong

It’s just that even super tinsel couldn’t hold him long

The whale was shamed and humbled and sent so far away

Not to head inland again for fear of Santa’s sleigh

Sven was bundled off in silence, bauble in his mouth

To a harsh place where bad elves go further south than south

The rest of us were back on song, calm restored anew

Santa’s clever leadership had pulled us from the poo

How great to see the prized object restored

Returning magic to this land, with the North Pole at its core

Books the end 200619881 copy

Copyright Philip Jones 2014